Turn Back Time
by Arina Ketchum
Summary: Ash regrets getting into a fight with Misty...
1. Chapter 1

Ash - 17 years old Misty - 19 years old Kenji - 17 years old  
  
Turn Back Time Chapter 1  
  
Ash, Misty, Pikachu and Kenji were walking along the path leading to who- knows-where, because Ash had gotten them lost (again) by taking one of his famous "shortcuts". Misty hadn't started yelling at him yet, even though she already knew they were lost just by looking at the foreign surroundings. They were in the middle of some open plains, and if a thunderstorm decided to pop up, they were in serious trouble.  
  
"Ash, are you sure this is the way to Fuschia City?" Kenji finally asked as they reached the top of a gently sloping hill in the road.  
  
"Um, sure it is! I know where we're headed!" Ash piped up too quickly as the they stopped for a minute.  
  
Misty smacked her forehead and groaned in frustration. "Kenji, you haven't been with us long enough to know; sometimes, he's just lucky if he finds his bedroom after running around his home all day, looking for it."  
  
"That's not true! You're just being mean, Misty!"  
  
"Sometimes the truth hurts, Mr. Pokemon Master." Misty folded her arms in front of her and dared Ash to defy her.  
  
"Alright, if I'm such a loser, then why are you still following me?!"  
  
Kenji sweatdropped.  
  
"Because YOU owe ME a BIKE!"  
  
"FINE! I'll send you a check in the mail when I get the money, Misty. And if that's not good enough, I'll deliver the money, in person, to you when I get home. Now go back to Cerulean Gym and STOP FOLLOWING ME!!" Ash looked at Misty hard, anger showing in his eyes. Misty, for once, was scared of him, because she knew he was serious.  
  
"Come on Kenji. We 'losers', have to keep away from her. After all, we wouldn't want to ruin Ms. Hanosea's reputation of hobnobbing with the upperclass."  
  
"Ash, I never called you a loser!" Misty cried, desperately trying to calm Ash down, and failing.  
  
"Oh really? Well it sure sounded like it! Goodbye, Misty." Ash turned away, and started down the slope of the hill, his heart, his eyes still afire with anger. He had had enough of Misty's whining and complaining. Kenji gave Misty a look of confusion, not really knowing who to stay with.  
  
"Ash! Please, wait!" Misty called after him. "I'm sorry!"  
  
"Pika-pi! Pikachu!" Pikachu cried, sitting on top of Ash's backpack. (Ash, cut it out and go back to her!)  
  
"Not on your life, Pikachu. I'm sick and tired of Misty. She acts like a jerk."  
  
"Pika-pi-Pikachu." (Ash, please reconsider.) Pikachu said sadly, knowing he couldn't really change the trainer's mind.  
  
Kenji then caught up with them. "Ash, I think you'd better go back and apologize. Misty's really upset."  
  
"Good! I don't know why I put up with her in the first place. All she ever does is whine about that dumb bike of hers, or tells us how cute that dumb Togepi is, or...that's right! Togepi's really mine! She stole it from me!!"  
  
"Pikachu?!" (What?!) Pikachu cried. "Pika-pi! Pikachu-Pika-pi-chu! Chu Kachu!" (Ash, you've already ruined your friendship with Misty, don't do something else that's dumb!)  
  
"I don't care if that little egg doesn't like me! I'm rightfully it's trainer, and I'm going back for it." Ash cried and turned around to walk back the way they'd come.  
  
Suddenly, Togepi, from afar, could be heard screaming hysterically, "Briiiiiiii!"  
  
"Pikachu!" the electric Pokemon looked up from their arguement worriedly.  
  
"Togepi!" Ash cried the obvious.  
  
"Something's wrong! Come on!" Kenji yelled and started back up the hill. Pikachu, without any prompting, jumped off Ash's backpack and ran with Kenji. Ash was still angry, but he too, started shuffling up the hill, hands stuffed in his jeans pockets, mumbling, "Togepi probably just tripped over a stone and fell down. Nothing to worry about."  
  
Ash didn't know how wrong he was.  
  
Kenji kept yelling Misty's name until he saw her: she was sitting on the ground, facing a *very* angry, wild Arbok. Togepi was sitting in her lap, sobbing and wailing.  
  
"MISTY!" Kenji cried, which was big mistake. The Arbok lunged at Misty, and grabbed ahold of one of her legs with it's poisonous fangs. Arbok's generally don't bite their prey, but this was a rare, deadly exception. Pikachu immediately dispatched a thundershock, making the Arbok let go of Misty. Kenji ran to her and tried to suck the venom out of her leg but it was too late; already, the Arbok's venom was running through Misty's blood.  
  
In other words, she was going to die, in a matter of minutes.  
  
Ash strolled up to the top of the hill, and immediately saw what was happening and ran to the scene, where the Arbok was slithering away. "What happened?! Misty!"  
  
"An Arbok bit her! I tried to get the venom out, but..." Kenji trailed off.  
  
"Bri?" Togepi asked, walking up to Misty's still form and touching her on the cheek. "Toge?"  
  
Misty's eyes fluttered open. "Togepi?" she asked, with much difficulty.  
  
"Misty!" Ash cried and knelt down next to her.  
  
"What happened?" Misty asked him, "I don't remember...I feel so weak..."  
  
"You fell down and hit your head." Ash lied. He looked up at Kenji desperately. "We have to get her to a doctor, NOW!"  
  
"Where, Ash, where?! We're in the middle of nowhere!" Kenji threw up his hands. "I've done the only thing that could be done. Now she's going to..."  
  
"Shut up!" Ash ordered angrily. He lifted her head, and rested it onto his lap. "Just lay here for a little while, you'll be fine."  
  
"Ash," Misty lifted her arm to his face, which felt like three tons of iron to her at the moment, "I'm sorry...I didn't mean to...the bike's not important..."  
  
"Shhh, I know. I'm sorry too. I didn't mean what I said."  
  
"I never got the chance..." Misty coughed, tears forming at her eyes. She knew she was dying, even Ash couldn't tell her otherwise now. "I never told you how much I loved you."  
  
Ash couldn't hold back his tears any longer. Somehow, he wasn't shocked at Misty's sudden revelation. He'd loved her for a long time too, although neither of them would have ever had admitted it to anyone, especially to each other.  
  
Until now...  
  
"I love you too, Misty. I always have." He gently grabbed her uplifted arm and held it to his tear-stained cheek.  
  
Misty coughed again, crying. "Please take care of Togepi and all my Pokemon for me."  
  
Ash nodded, but said, to try to encourage her. "They'll be in tip-top condition when you get back from the doctor."  
  
Misty smiled. "You always did love to dream, Ash. I love you."  
  
With smile on her lips, she closed her eyes for the last time, and died.  
  
Nothing happened for several seconds after; then Ash, using all his energy and strength, let up an ungodly howl that could be heard by the entirety of Pokemon Island.  
  
For a very long, long time after that, the two humans and two Pokemon could only cry over the fallen fourth Cerulean Gym Leader.  
  
End Chapter 1 


	2. Chapter 2

Ash - 17 years old Misty - 19 years old Kenji - 17 years old Brock - 24 years old  
  
Turn Back Time Chapter 2  
  
Ash sighed inwardly, feeling a surge of depression come over him. He'd been sitting on a bench for the past hour at the nearest police station, waiting for an officer to come talk to him. They'd ask Kenji to come into a back room so they could ask him questions about how exactly Misty died. They'd taken the girl's body to the coroners office after Ash had carried her in...  
  
"Pika-pi?"  
  
Ash looked down at his little Pikachu, now cradled in his arms, as Misty had been only hours before.  
  
"Pi-Pikachu-ka?" (What's going to happen now?)  
  
Ash shook his head as another wave of tears snuck up on him. "I don't know, Pikachu." he sniffled. "This is all my fault, if I hadn't fought with her - If I hadn't gotten so damn angry with her -"  
  
"Ash Ketchum?" Officer Jenny walked up to them then with Kenji by her side, interrupting Ash.  
  
"Yes?" Ash looked up, his voice cracking terribly.  
  
Officer Jenny put a hand on Kenji's shoulder, and motioned him to have a seat next to Ash. Kenji had been doing some crying as well, Ash noticed.  
  
"Guess it's my turn now." Ash said, and handed Pikachu to Kenji.  
  
"Good luck." Kenji whispered. Ash didn't answer as he and Jenny headed into the back interrogation room.  
  
Ash sat down when they got in and took off his hat. Jenny pulled up chair to sit across from him at the wooden table placed in the middle of the room.  
  
"Ash, I'm sorry to hear about your friend, Misty, but I need to file a report, and I need to know what happened to her."  
  
Ash looked down at the table. He didn't want to say anything; he didn't want to be here. Oh, why did he have to fight with Misty?  
  
"I don't know what happened." Ash began, his stomach feeling a bit queasy. "Misty and I had a fight, and I stormed off, angry. Kenji tried to get us to reconcile, but then we heard Togepi, that's Misty's Pokemon, screaming, so Kenji and Pikachu ran back to see what happened." Ash gulped. If I had run too, I would have ordered Pikachu to use Thundershock sooner, and we wouldn't be here, he thought angrily, MISTY WOULDN'T BE DEAD!  
  
Jenny nodded sympathetically. "Then what happened?"  
  
I walked back up the hill and Misty was lying on the ground. I ran to her, Kenji said it was too late and she was going to die..." Ash buried his head in his arms on the table. "This is all my fault!" he sobbed. "If I had gotten there sooner, none of this would have happened!"  
  
Suddenly, a commotion outside made both officer and boy look up. Jenny stood up and opened the door. Ash followed her, wiping away tears.  
  
"Don't you dare tell me it was 'just an accident'!" a female voice yelled. Ash was shocked. Misty's three sisters stood in the next room, yelling at a young officer sitting at the front desk. "Our sister does not go around stepping on Arboks!" Lily cried.  
  
"I demand that investigation be started up immediately!" Daisy piped up.  
  
"But Miss, there's nothing to investigate. She gotten bitten by an Arbok and died from a result of the venom..." The poor officer tried to calm the three down, but wasn't having any luck.  
  
"You mean that kid, Ash, she's travelling with didn't try to help her?!" Violet sobbed. "Then he's the one responsible for Misty's death!"  
  
Jenny and Ash appeared by the young officer's side. "Um, excuse me, ladies. I'm Officer Jenny. I'd like to talk to you about your -"  
  
Lily, Daisy, and Violet looked at Jenny, then spotted Ash. "YOU!" they all screeched in unison, and raced to him. "You're the one that killed Misty!"  
  
Jenny threw herself between the sisters and Ash. "Hold on there! Ash hasn't been accused of any crime and he didn't kill Misty!"  
  
"No," Ash said from behind her, Jenny spun around, "I'm responsible for Misty's death. If I hadn't fought with her, if I hadn't been so totally dense, she's still be alive."  
  
Lily stepped forward, her eyes closed. When Ash looked up, Lily's fist was about to collide with his nose...  
  
* * * *  
  
Brock raced into the hospital, Ash's mother hot on his heels. It was now nearing ten o'clock at night. The nurses at their station told them where to go. Brock, to his credit, didn't go into his "I see pretty girl, must drool" mode, but instead followed the directions to Room 318.  
  
Ash was lying in bed in that room, unconcious, wired to enough electrical stuff to make an Electrabuzz jealous. The heart monitor beeped steadily, Brock and Ash's mom were glad to see. Lily had hit Ash so hard that he'd slammed back against the opposite wall at the police station. He had a serious concussion, and a broken nose now. When his mother saw him, she gasped in horror and ran to her son's bedside.  
  
"Oh my poor little boy. First losing your friend, and now this." she sobbed as she grabbed his hand. Ash didn't respond, didn't open his eyes. He just lay there, as still as death.  
  
Kenji walked in then, carrying Pikachu. Brock looked up and came over to the younger boy, introduced himself and shook hands.  
  
"How long has he been out?" Brock talked to him in a low, serious voice.  
  
Kenji shook his head, a little taken aback by Brock's seemingly unemotional facade. "Seven hours at least. The doctor's don't know when he'll wake up either."  
  
Realizing Ash's mother was in earshot, Brock motioned Kenji outside. "I've been trying to keep my emotions under control in front of her." Brock said, "I got a call from her this afternoon, she was absolutely hysterical."  
  
"You heard about Misty, right?" Kenji asked.  
  
Brock nodded, and sat down on a chair next to the door. Resting his elbows on his thighs, he ran his hands down his face. "What happened? I got a jumbled report of things, including how Ash got knocked out."  
  
So Kenji told him the story. Brock broke down when the story was nearly finished. Pikachu, who hadn't said a word the entire time, crawled into Brock's lap for some sort of comfort. Brock laid a hand on the electric Pokemon, stroking it's back. "Pika-pi-Pikachu."  
  
"I know, Pikachu, I miss her too." Brock murmured, standing up.  
  
"I feel so helpless." Kenji muttered.  
  
Brock shook his head. "As do I, Kenji. But you did everything in your power. You can't blame yourself for anything that's happened." he said as he opened the door and peeked in. "You did everything you could for Misty." Ash's mother was sitting by his bedside, silently praying.  
  
Come on Ash, Brock thought, you know you're the only one that help yourself now. You can make it. I've already lost one best friend today; I can't lose you, too.  
  
"Pika-pi." Pikachu said quietly, and shook his head. He jumped down from Brock's arms and leapt onto Ash's bed, curling up next to the still boy.  
  
"Don't forget Ash, there are still others who need you." Brock murmured, deciding to give Ash's mom some time alone with her son. He closed the door behind him, and walked down the hall with Kenji, both absorbed deeply in their own thoughts about the tragic events of the day.  
  
End Chapter 2 


	3. Chapter 3

Turn Back Time, Chapter 3 By Arina Ketchum Written October 6, 1999  
  
The chilly November wind whipped around me, the leaves scurrying through the air and on the ground as I watched in the distance a flock of Spearow heading to a warmer climate for the winter. I pulled my hat lower, shielding my eyes from small bits of flying debris, then dug my hands deeper into my pockets, trying hard to keep warm. The sun was just sinking into the horizon, spreading it's rays of red, orange and gold light over the land one last time before nightfall.  
  
What was I doing out here on this cold evening? Even I wasn't sure I knew. I looked down at where I was standing - in a well-kept graveyard, but more specifically, on a little hill in the graveyard, where two neatly kept graves stood, their gray headstones their only markers.  
  
"Hello, Misty." I said as I looked down at the patch of earth. "It's me."  
  
Suddenly, the wind really picked up, and I got down on one knee to get under the blast of cold air. Not that it did much good. I looked at the gravestones, the one on the left read, "Here lies Misty Hanosea- Waterflower, beloved daughter, sister, Gym Leader, and friend. Died from the poisonous bite of an Arbok. April 14, 1987 - August 20, 2006. The other marker read, "Here lies Togepi, beloved Pokémon of Misty Hanosea- Waterflower. Died of a broken heart after the death of its trainer. May 1999 - September 12, 2006"  
  
And now it was a little after a year Togepi had passed that I was crouched here, unsure of what to say or do next.  
  
"I - um - I have good news. Remember how I told you I applied to the University of Cerulean? Well, I got accepted, even though I didn't do very well on the standardized testing. They said they take a good range of people - they don't just need people with excellent grades. I guess I fit into the lower end of their scale." I laughed nervously, realized I was speaking in a rush. "You want to hear the letter they wrote me?" I was pulling the paper out even as I spoke.  
  
"Dear Mr. Ketchum,  
  
We are pleased to tell you that you have been accepted into Cerulean City Community College's program for higher education. Although you did not place as well as most other students on standardized tests, we feel you will excel at our school."  
  
I folded the paper up and put it back in my pocket. "Then it just says how much they look forward to having me, the cost of tuition, that kind of thing." I mumbled. I looked out at the darkening sky. "I have a new friend." I said. Somehow, I couldn't bring myself to say "girlfriend" in front of Misty.  
  
"Her name is Laura, and she's really nice. She's got brown hair and blue eyes. I think you would have gotten along with her."  
  
"Todd Snap is visiting Pallet, showing his gallery of 'Pokémon Naturelle' pictures off. He didn't try to take any pictures of Pikachu this time, either."  
  
There was a reason for that. A good one. Todd was horrified to learn (from me, no less) about Misty's death. He'd been on the road when the news spread about her, so he'd not heard anything...until he talked to me. I think he took it like Brock did. First he was in shock and disbelief, then he was upset, then the urge to beat the pulp out of me. Why did everyone's reactions turn out to be the same? They always ended up blaming me for her death, even though it wasn't my fault.  
  
You heard me correctly - it's not my fault she died. A year ago, I thought differently, but even if I had been there when the Arbok attacked, I'm pretty sure the outcome would have been the same.  
  
Wouldn't it?  
  
"Pikachu's not here today, Misty. He went to the store with Mom to buy ketchup."  
  
How could I tell her Pikachu got too upset every time it came that Nurse Joy thought it would be best if it didn't?  
  
"Kenji's doing really well on his journey. He's gotten 15 new Pokemon since the last time. And remember that Squirtle of his, the one you loved so much? That evolved into a Wartortle."  
  
Why was I even bothering making conversation? She was dead! She wasn't even a good friend! All she'd ever wanted was a bike out of me. Her dying words of, "I love you." were complete bull, right? She was just trying to let me know she was going to a better place, right?  
  
A chill ran up my spine, and it wasn't because of the wind. I suddenly had a flashback of that day, even though I didn't want to. I could hear myself once again screaming at her - telling her to leave me alone once and for all. Kenji trying to change my mind - the terrified scream from Togepi...  
  
"Oh God, NO! Not this again!" My fist slammed to the ground, trying to make the images in my head go away. I was suddenly consumed with overpowering guilt.  
  
"I love you."  
  
My head shot up and I looked around. "Misty?" No one was around. I must be losing my mind, I'm hearing her, even though she's..., I thought silently.  
  
"All right Misty, I'm gonna be completely straight with you." I stood up. "This is not my fault." I pointed at the marker to reinforce my point. "You would have died anyway, even if we hadn't fought. And don't you dare think that for one minute I even meant what I said. I NEVER loved you. I barely even *liked* you."  
  
I felt even worse after I said that, not better, as I had previously hoped. So much for getting things off one's chest.  
  
"What happened to me...I feel so weak."  
  
"You fell and hit your head." I whispered out loud. Why had I lied? To console her so she wouldn't panic, thrash around like a dying fish? She knew she had been bitten, she knew she was going to die...and yet I denied that to her out loud...and to myself.  
  
Ash, you're losing it. I shook my head. Misty meant nothing to me. She never had, she never would. Trying to fool myself into believing we'd even have a future together, much less a friendship was ridiculous.  
  
And yet...and yet I still pondered occasionally what would have happened if Misty hadn't died. Would we have admitted feelings to each other that weren't even there? Would we have gotten married, had kids, even? I half- shivered at the thought. One Misty in the world is enough.  
  
Was enough.  
  
Sure, I didn't want her to die. I mean, as a fellow human being. I didn't want to see her in pain either, again, as a fellow human being. So maybe she was better off wherever she was now. Of course if I'd had the brains not to get lost back then, and the strength to carry her a long distance, I probably could have gotten her to a doctor in time...  
  
There I go again, reverting right back to my state from last year. I squeezed my eyes shut.  
  
This. Was. NOT. MY. FAULT.  
  
I'd woken up from a three week comatose state, to find my mother, Brock, and Kenji by my side. The only thing amiss was that Misty wasn't there...  
  
"You killed Misty!" Violet's screaming rang through my ears again as we stood in the Cerulean Gym 5 months later. "This is all YOUR fault."  
  
Then she proceeded to call me all sorts of obscene names, even after I'd apologized. I finally just remained silent, listening to her rants. She raised her hand to slap me several times, but since being arrested for assault the last time she got near me, (She technically wasn't supposed to come within 1000 feet of me) she didn't finish the act.  
  
"Misty was right, if Team Rocket hadn't blasted their way into the Gym, you would have been beaten soundly by her! I should take that Gym Badge back from you right now."  
  
I think that was the turning point in my career. My head shot up from it's bowed position so fast I'm sure I snapped some small bone in my neck.  
  
"That's not true! I was winning that match! You know that. If Team Rocket -"  
  
"Must you always blame someone else for your problems?"  
  
I didn't just get angry then, I got really furious. Without even thinking, I rammed Lily, knocking her into the pool. Without apologizing, I turned and stormed out the door, hearing her sputtering as she surfaced. I slammed the door as I walked out, muttering, "It's not my fault. Nothing has been since I met Misty."  
  
And so I've stayed in that frame of mind ever since. As I stood there, looking at the graves, I wondered if I was just fooling myself.  
  
She loved you, Ash, and what did you give her in return? Death! All she ever wanted from you was three little heartfelt words from you, not a bike. Couldn't you have given her even that?  
  
You could have saved her Ash! You know you could have! Charizard would have obeyed you and fried the Arbok for dinner! What the hell stopped you from racing back with Kenji and Pikachu?  
  
You're guilty of murder Ash, and you know it. You're just as guilty as the Arbok, an accomplice to it! Say it Ash! Say it! Admit your feelings to the world, that you loved her body and soul, and that you killed her because you couldn't face your fear of being rejected!  
  
"NO!" I screamed aloud. "NO, I DIDN'T KILL MISTY!" I fell to my knees and hands, tears running down my face. My body shook with pent up anguish. I grasped the grass with my fingers, digging my nails into the soft, wet soil. My jeans were getting soaked at the knees from the wet turf, but I didn't care. After a few moments of scraping together my sanity, I said in a quiet voice, "All right, Misty, you win. I don't care who knows it now. You were my friend, you were my enemy, but no matter what happened, no matter what I did, you stayed by me, and that's why I loved you." I wiped at my wet face, leaving smudges of dirt behind. "I never really could admit it to myself, let alone you. I thought it was the craziest idea in the world. I mean, all I ever cared about was Pokemon and training. I never really thought about falling in love. Settling down and raising a family? That wasn't my destiny! I yearned too much to travel, to be on the road, to be free. Can't you see, Misty? That's why I never said anything. I'm sorry I'm saying it now, far too late to act on my words."  
  
I didn't get any reply except another howl from the wind. I stood up and looked to the east, where the lights of Cerulean City were twinkling against a black backdrop. Most of those people down there, they had no idea how the pain of losing a loved one felt like.  
  
"But Misty, I never intended anything to happen to you that day. I figured you'd run after me and try to apologize and I'd be mad at you for a few hours, and then we'd be back the way we were. If there is one thing I want to do now more than anything else in the world, it's to turn back time and change everything that happened that day. But I can't, and you've got to understand that. You've got to let me go, I have to get on with my life."  
  
Another whistling of the wind. No words of comfort saying, "It's ok, Ash, I forgive you, go marry Laura or whoever else is your soulmate instead." Just the wind. I closed my eyes for a minute, listening to its song, listening for a familiar voice.  
  
After a few minutes and nothing especially interesting heard, I said quietly, "It's getting late, Misty, I'd better go."  
  
As I stepped down the hill of wet grass, I thought about what I had just said and what I had just done. Maybe, in some small way, I had finally made peace with myself and Misty.  
  
* * * *  
  
I watched Ash walk down the hill as I sat on my gravestone, clutching Togepi to keep it warm. "I forgive you, Ash."  
  
He looked up at the grave as I said that, but of course, he couldn't see us. "Toge-Togepi." (I forgive you too, Daddy.) Ash shook his head, and continued walking. I smiled down at Togepi, and said, "Let's go home."  
  
So riding a wind current, we made our way to the stars, our home for eternity. I knew I'd see Ash again, and maybe then, finally, we'd admit face-to-face what was in our hearts all along.  
  
End Chapter 3 The End 


End file.
